You know the more I write about my experiences I a disappointed that I did not start this sooner. Some of these stories would be even more entertaining if they were still fresh in my mind. However, having said that, this particular encounter has perplexed in such a way that I think I can remember it in it's entirety.
On it' surface this was nothing more than a piano move. And actually the business part of this story is but a footnote. The curiosity comes from the details. When we originally put the address I knew we were going to a REALLY BAD part of town. Despite the abandon cars on the side of the road, filthy empty lots, and homeless people pushing shopping carts full of their worldly belongs, someone in this neighborhood had acquired a piano. We drove up to the "house", and save for a few details it looked abandoned. The grass was literally waist high. The city had even posted a sign on the side of the house pointing out that it was in violation of a least one of the codes. The strange part, on the outside at least, was that there was a $20-30k Harley Davidson leaning up against this $15k House. So from the beginning my curiosity was piqued.
Considering the context of the house and neighborhood, I have to admit I had a predetermined idea of what the individual inside looked like. Never in a million years would I have imagined how wrong I was. Standing just inside the opened door was ridiculously attractive young latino woman, wearing a very low cut designer dress (or a knockoff what do I know). I couldn't wrap my head around all the contradicitions I was witnessing. If she was indeed the person living here had she skimped on home improvement to pay for her recent augmentation?! While on that subject, had that procedure reduced sensitivity to a point where she did not realize the areola on full display?! To be honest, she looked like a PRO that was rather comfortable with a bit of exhibitionism. In that moment, not only had I forgotten why we were here, but I had also not noticed the inside of this house. As I came back to my senses and looked around, I don't even know how to describe it. It basically looked like someone had taken the house and shook it until the insides were scrambled. However, being relatively sure we have never had a local earthquake, I determined that we must be in the home of a HOARDER.
Every layer of this situation causes confusion. The piano....almost forgot about that. Upon meeting us at the door, and the subsequent flashing, she says "oh I didn't know you were coming, let me clean up." She then proceeded to pick up one or two pieces of trash that revealed the outline of a walking path that had been made in the garbage covered floor. SERIOUSLY?! First of all, she did know we were coming since we had just talked to her on the phone. Secondly, "let me clean up" is hilarious for obvious reasons.
So we actually got to the anticlimactic part of the story, the moving of the piano. However, while we were working she made her way into this little bedroom where she had exactly one chair that wasnt buried. She sat there with her laptop while we loaded the piano. When we got ready to leave she locked up, obviously for fear that someone might squat in the house. She walked out to a car that I thought was abandoned in the high grass. Much to my surprise, the vehicle came to life after a little effort on her part, and away she went.
To this day I have soooo many questions. I seriously have no idea what was going on in that house. And in all honestly, I am sure there are some questions that are better left unasked.....