Monday, June 28, 2010

You shouldn't have....REALLY....

Now I may be overstepping my bounds with the entry, but what are blogs for, if not to do just that.  This is sort of a follow up to my last entry about the client that left 2 beers in the fridge.  I told you the front end of the story, since at the time it amused me the most and briefly restored my faith in mankind.  However, the more I thought about it, the delivery phase of this move might prove to be more entertaining.

Lost in the original story was that we were moving a hutch.  This is a fancy term for a display case of sorts where people show off their "I'm better than you" belongings.  When we got there to retreive this one in particular we could tell it was "unique".  Upon furthur inspection you could tell that it was hand-made, which is why it had several imperfections.  Obviously, we had to document these BEFORE touching it, lest we be blamed for all its shortcomings. 

From her reaction it would seem that the buyer had purchased this item sight unseen, or just through craigslist pictures.  This practice never seems to amaze me.  I can't imagine giving a random stranger more than $10 for something I have not been in the same room with to verify it's condition.  Obviously, from my description, you may have guessed that neither my partner or I thought this piece was particularly great.  However, her reaction or overeaction as it were, made it clear that she had a much higher opinion of it.  She literally FREAKED OUT!!  You would have thought we had showed up at her door with ballons, the late Ed McMahon, and an oversized check.  "Oh my's so beautiful"...this announcement was then followed by the female hands to mouth move that is usually sufficient to ward off hyperventilation or fainting.  Call me a minimalist, but this reaction seemed over the top even if I had shared her opinion of the piece's beauty.  And then she uttered the words still puzzle me.....

"It's sooooo beautiful....HE* will LOVE IT"!!  "This is HIS* 10th Anniversary present".  After hearing this my mind could only come up with one word....SERIOUSLY?!  Now I admit that it is very presumptuous of me to think I know this man better than his wife of 10 years, but....SERIOUSLY?!  It's a dining room hutch.  Then I got to wondering WHY on Earth would she think HE* would love it?  A quick glance around did not reveal the home of a male interior designer or an "artist" of any kind.  What was it that had happened over the course of 10 years of marriage that would result in HIM* preferring a dining room hutch to a pool table or golf clubs?  What had happened to my fellow man?!  Having no way to answer these questions, I suddenly felt very sad for HIM*.  If, as I suspect, he did NOT love this gift as much as his wife expected then it would be somewhat of a disappointment.  However, if he did love it that much, then something along the way must have broken his spirit.  For I can say with relative certainty, that 10 years ago this MAN was NOT thinking if he stayed married or 10 years he would be rewarded with a HUTCH.

For fear of inducing a brain aneurysm I am going to attempt to let this go.  A dining room hutch....SERIOUSLY?!

Pronouns* were used to protect the innocent, and more than likely the disappointed.


  1. LMAO! My parents have been married for 26 yrs, and if my mother gave my dad a hutch for their anniversary, I don't imagine they would be married for too much longer. That is just hilarious! lol

  2. My husband loves furniture. Or living room has way too many pieces on it. I bet my husband would love it! More places for him to put crap hahaha.

    If in 10 years I like all of this furniture than he has broken my spirit. And I mourn it already.

  3. Next time take a cell phone picture... Maybe we *could* understand it better if we gazed our eyes on the beauty :)